H O M E
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B L O G
G A L L E R Y
S T O R E
T H E G A R D E N
The Garden of Voidself is a realm that exists simultaneously and parallel to the one we perceive with daily continuity, in which our spirits reside and traverse in an iterative cycle of rumination, reflection, healing and growth. The Garden is the space in which this all occurs, and much of it’s existence remains a mystery only known to the cosmos.
The only way out is through, and to move through the Garden is to move through ones own stuff/predicament. Somehow these things are interdimensionally linked.
. . . . .
The Garden takes neither the role of author, guide nor messenger. The Garden's role is simply that of awareness and presence.
Coming Soon - Comprehensive Guide to the different discovered species within the Garden
An Iteration Through The Garden
I'm still working to understand this process more clearly. I am no expert in how the Garden works, only one participant in it's exploration. So far I have no reason to believe this experience differs greatly for others, but we'll let time and unfolding determine that reality.
I. Entering The Garden
Bright white turns into endless black.
A Traveler emerges, without any prior recollection, as a colorless figure with a featureless, sexless body. You have arms, legs, a head and torso, with the senses of sight, touch and hearing (somehow...). The Traveler can't help but feel, however, that the space where its "face" should be is impermanent, or at least...removable? How...why...uncanny?
With these senses intact, the Traveler notices before it a growth of bioluminescent plants illuminating a stone door, engraved in it a mandala like pattern*.
The Traveler will push through the stone door, as where else is it to go. As it opens, a sort of uncanny twilight, with no discernable source, permeates over a vast garden-scape, teeming in biodiversity and lush color.
Standing over the realm on a cliff's edge, it may be an overwhelming sight at first. Ferns, vines, tropical palms, fungi of all shapes and sizes, flowers and so on make up a sort of impossible garden that stretches on for what appears to be into the infinite. This place, The Garden, is truly an overwhelming sight to behold.
In stark contrast to the immense beauty clashing against one another throughout the Garden, the sky appears to be pitch back, but somehow all remains visible**.
Off in the distance a Traveler may see splashes of light, pools of illumination sparking and pulsing in little pockets. These are likely something I will refer to as "Sacred Communications", and there'll be more on that in its own section.
If a Traveler is privy to the splashes of light littering the distant garden-scapes, it will also notice floating objects, all headed in a singular direction. These would be recently separated Whole-Selves, read about in their section. They are off to a place known as The Valley.
The Traveler may also notice other similarly shaped figures coming from the previous room from where it recently emerged, as well as along the descent to the bottom of the cliff.
We've reached the place where experiences will begin to vary, for one reason or another. The time spent in the Garden, between phases 1-5, will be at different intervals per Traveler's individual iteration. There's a lot of subjectivity to this experience as much as there are key occurrences shared by many Travelers. One can explore and wander the Garden in whichever direction feels right. Often this takes the shape of a period of carefree expression, taking in the sights and serenity of the Garden.
The Traveler will learn with trial and error that it has no need for sleep, no hunger or physical exhaustion, at least not on the face of it.
However, at some point, aware of it or not, Travelers will begin to feel a sort of presence looming, a tug from something outside of itself but invisible, ineffable. This may follow but some visual and auditory hallucinations, reflecting something experienced in the Traveler's corresponding human body and experiences, as they are inextricably tied it would appear.
This presence is The Garden's influence, filling the Traveler with energies/frequencies that impact its ability to remain present within the Garden. However, as the influence takes further hold, so begins the process of transfiguration, which requires the Traveler to isolate itself and find a lonely spot to plant itself to the Garden floor, beginning to become a Monolith (more on Monoliths on another page).
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* From recollection, the engraved mandala depicts the entire Garden experience, but I'll need to elaborate on that at a later date. I'm hoping to illustrate for you.
** It's hard to adjust to at first, but light sources really only ever come from objects exhibiting those previously mentioned sacred communications of some kind.
II. Losing The Whole-Self
Losing one’s sense of self and center, as freeing as a concept it has the potential of being is a rather disorienting experience, no matter how common.
In the case of the Garden and its influence, it can be a tough thing to accept, especially with the consequence that come up from the ordeal. To elaborate, as the Garden's entire atmosphere acts as an imperceptible miasma that gets a Traveler all caught up in their individual "stuff", the Whole-Self (the plug and center) becomes wary and in an act of self-preservation, separates itself from the Traveler and flees to the refuge of The Valley, a neutral place without the miasma present for the Wholes to congregate and await their Traveler's to move through the mess of attachment and suffering, to move through the Garden. It retains a sort of cosmic knowledge of the process, an awareness that if it stays, it won't necessarily do any good or a better job at accessing the acceptance and compassion for the Traveler's predicament. So, it leaves and waits, leaving the Traveler to enter the Monolith phase of the iteration.
The Whole-Self remains aware that this is the Traveler's trip to endure, at least in this current iteration. It's an intuitive sense that the Traveler's susceptibility by the Garden is still to overwhelming to remain in harmony with one another.
III. Becoming a Monolith
(((caught and stuck)))
I would just like to interject here that once again; this is a very subjective experience continuing forward. Each Traveler, in each iteration, may experience a unique ratio/blend of the processes described throughout, but I think this makes for a good basic summary.
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Following the ejection of the Whole-Self, comes the process of adhering to the Garden and becoming what is known as a Monolith.
A Monolith is a Traveler who now embodies and identifies with wherever, to whatever they are caught and stuck to in the earthly realm. During this time, the Traveler transforms, a process called Transfiguration, into the physical manifestation of the aforementioned "stuff". It's through this process the Traveler turned Monolith must move it's emotions, attachments and points of suffering in order to move onward. It is with compassion, acceptance and understanding that this can occur.
While this all occurs, at whatever speed it does for each Monolith, the Garden benefits from their stagnated molding into the soil, feeding and sustaining itself off the Monoliths, like cells of a colossal, organic battery.
The Garden and the Traveler's journey are things that happen to coincide with and benefit from each other, but this is not benevolence on the part of the Garden, I don't believe. I think of it as more like cosmic indifference, so as long as the food source remains consistent. In a similar way that the chemical compound coming from some mushrooms appearing to give us insight into the greater mysteries of reality and perception, the Garden just so happens to connect with our process of emotional experience and its growth.
I'm going to break this phase into sub-phases below, to keep the rest of this section on subject of describing how this all shakes up, on average.
i. Regardless as to why, The Traveler stops pushing through and finds a comfortable space to stay and rest. The longer a Traveler remains still, the further the Garden grows around it and assimilates their being to the soil. By this point, a Traveler has begun to embody their "trip/drama".
ii. The Traveler is now assimilated to the Garden and begins to transform into the embodied stuff. The surrounding plant-life may react and interact, but mostly it'll just grow. By the end of this sub-phase, the Traveler is a fully grown Monolith and has yet to see the predicament and access compassion.
iii. Internal gears turn, and the Traveler lost in the Monolith begins to recognize the other side, and the third eye appendage finds its way through and grows outward, giving itself access to see things clearly, as it is.
iv. By now, the Traveler begins to find room for the Monolith's presence, and acceptance of its existence. It finds room for love instead of lamenting and suffering with such identified manifestation. The Third Eye Appendage has done its job, and the Traveler's growing compassion outweighs the Garden's miasma, releasing itself from the Soil and form returns back to its previous state when it entered the Garden (sans Whole), only now it has a temporary protective layer to aid the Traveler through to the end of the Garden.
v. As a side note, but fits in line with the next sub-phase, something I seem to find to be true is the protective layer truly is temporary, giving a Traveler some extra time before the miasma may take its effect again. Backsliding throughout a single iteration is not only common, but also probably safe to say it's downright normal*. If the Garden should reclaim a Traveler, the first symptom will be a return to aimless wandering followed by a period of stagnation.
Before moving on to phase IV, one other thing I'd like to add is that this process is at its slowest when a Monolith is tasked to do it alone, and it's even possible to get a sort of false reset wherein a Traveler will manage to bypass the Monolith stage but not be temporarily protected, only to backslide even quicker. However, if Traveler's can manage relationships with one another, they hold off against the miasma a little longer than when alone, and it appears Monolith's heal faster when accompanied by other Travelers. There's more to explore here, but this much I can say for now.
IV. Heal
(((and Become Free)))
Riding the spiritual high of returning from Monolith to Traveler, the path has never seemed so clear. With your new protective film, you are able to intuit the direction you must trek to locate the Whole-Self as mentioned before, however, there is always opportunity for the Garden's influence to crawl back inside. The protective layer is temporary and will vary on the strength of one's resolve. The main thing to consider here seems to be that any time in the Garden is an opportunity to remain distracted and caught, so while rushing isn't encouraged, it's wise for a Traveler to remain diligently on the path.
In this time, provided the Traveler did remain on the path, it'll eventually be met by an impossibly high wall of rock and soil. There will be a crack in the wall. The Traveler will need to crawl through the crack to enter a small alcove featuring a tranquil hot spring.
This place feels different than anywhere else in the Garden. It practically invites you in to soak as a reward for your efforts. There is no sense of other presence or influence. Instead those feelings are replaced with a sense of warmth and safety. Should the Traveler take the hot springs invitation, it feels less and less attached to even its current avatar as the warm waters begin to fade away the Traveler's sense of time, space and even consciousness. There is nothing to fear, this is not death, this is rest, this is freedom. This is now. As everything around the Traveler fades, it may or may not dream; what is for certain is that when the Traveler awakens, it will be found on the last stop of this iteration...
V. The Valley
This is the section I feel the fuzziest on, the one I feel the least in tune with and exposed to.
The Traveler returns to consciousness (whatever that means in context of The Garden as a plain of reality) Has this been real? Is any of this real? Is oneself still connected to the counterpart outside the Garden? The Traveler finds itself in a seemingly endless valley of grass and wildflowers. The sky has transformed from pitch black to a gorgeous hue of light blue like never experienced before. As oneself becomes oriented, familiar objects can be seen in the distance floating and hovering about.
WHOLE-SELVES, MANY OF THEM! But which one is the Traveler's? Is it possible to tell? Are they all the same? Is the one that left the Traveler even still here? Can another have been connected with it? IS it even important to connect with the original one the Traveler came in with? Have they ever been the same on previous iterations?
There is no rush in needing to decide, it's okay to take one's time. There's no sense of urgency or outside influence to bring any Traveler backsliding now. It's unclear if certain Wholes avoid other Travelers, but there is at least an intuitive sense of which ones don't feel right or aren't even a physical fit.
Eventually, when the Traveler does form union with a Whole-Self, both will get the sense that the union is good, at least for now, as it's known that this is the end of this iteration, and will inevitably lead to the next, wiping much of the experience away in the process of recycling through the ending that leads to new beginning. This marks the state of going from Whole and Traveler to pure Self. The Self will bask in warm light for however long it remains in the valley, until it dozes off again, in a state of bliss, in a preamble to the next iteration.
Bright, warm, white light envelops the senses...
Bright white turns into endless black...
Travelers
The Traveler is the avatar, or vessel in which an individual spirit resides within the Garden, the direct 1:1 to our human bodies here in our familiar realm. Shape and size may vary, but they all share the same near featureless characteristics, save for being colorless, a small crack forming in the center of the head where one's face would be in their human body and a mostly hollow interior (save for body of the whole-self).
Traveler's, when still connected to the Whole-Self, are less if not at all identified with their "stuff" (e.g. baggage, personality, etc.). It's only after the influence of the Garden gives the Whole-Self a reason to depart, that the Traveler begins to come into this more identified space. It's from here the Traveler will begin to go through the transfiguration process that leads to becoming a Monolith.
Traveler's often forget they come from a social species of creature, and often endure the garden and their inner trials alone. Some may break this cycle and recognize the need to co-regulate and support each other. In most cases this leads to positive and faster healing.
For more information on a Traveler's average journey through the garden, read about the Iterative Cycle.
Additional notes:
- Some Traveler's manage to maintain their connection to the Whole-Self throughout an entire iteration through the Garden. This is rare but by no means impossible. More often than not this is a learned skill but every so often, a Traveler comes into being truly un-identified with their "stuff" or "Somebody-ness"
The Whole-Self
A depiction of the process of separation, a triumphant escape for the Whole-Self through it's natural wisdom.
When referring to the whole-self, it's best to understand it as a permanent piece to a larger puzzle as opposed to a temporary attachment grafted into the core of our being. The moments we spend with the Whole-Self may feel temporary from moment to moment, but even its lack of presence is a form of connectedness, as we are consistently drawn to reunite with the whole through every stage of the iterative process.
In defining the Whole-self, it's best understood as our connection to the sense of oneness with everything through our given avatar. It's a sort of plug that contains inward our highest forms of compassion for ourselves and the world around us. All the while, it is the gatekeeper to our sense of "Somebody-ness", the place in which we identify with who we believe we are, the I, the ego.
The Whole-Self is a key component to understanding our time in the Garden.
As discussed in the Iterative Process, there comes a time during every Traveler's current journey (*iteration) where the influence of the Garden begins to push and pull the Traveler to become further aligned with their sense of "Somebody-ness" and related attachments.
A note from my journal on the separation process, apologies for being illustrated in reverse. I had been sort of scatter brained that day. The process had been taking a lot out of me then.
The Garden has a very strong influence on the Traveler, one which cannot be ignored by the Whole-Self, causing it to go through the process of separation and temporary distancing. The further influenced the Traveler is by the Garden, the sooner the Whole-Self will remove itself from the Traveler's avatar and rush off to take refuge. I can't say for certain where the Whole-Self retreats, but it's my belief they find themselves in a far-off valley, only accessible to Travelers who are ready to reunite, who have pushed through the transfiguration of Stage 3 found in the Iterative Process. For simplicity, I refer to this as the Valley of Whole-Selves, a peaceful place with open fields and congregating Wholes, all celebrating the eventual return of the Traveler.
My initial notes on discovery of the Whole-Self, before further exploration. I believe this is my first depiction of the being.
Monoliths 
A traveler that has lost their connection to their whole-self, has begun to take refuge and comfort within the Garden and are attuning to it's influential frequencies. Monoliths may vary in form, but a Monolith's key characteristic is that it takes on the form of it's own internal attachments that sit at the core of suffering.
Often they have one shared physical attribute, which is that the head of the traveler remains in-tact, and eventually a "third-eye appendage" grows from the head, as the Traveler turned Monolith moves toward resolve.
See Voidself Relfection series for further examples
Shared Traveler Synchronicity (S T S)
Synchronicity is a special sort of phenomenon, uncanny in its occurrence but gently understood by many as something inherent in human experience. It calls upon the spiritual in tandem with our pattern seeking minds, connecting dots with invisible lines that only exist within the ephemeral moment; and all that remains is the memory of a feeling of universal connectedness.
Well, what if ~S O M E~ of those instances were explainable, through the emotional realm? Within the Garden?!
Call me crazy, but I've been thinking that maybe some of what seem like my monoliths aren't exactly my own. Sure, they feature experiences and trials I've had to endure, but in the same way that all things are connected in the grand scheme of all that is, what if our monoliths aren't our own, but something we inhabit alongside others within the community pool filled with liquid hurt.
I must wonder given the interconnectedness of everything, if emotional experiences really are our own, or if the dream of the individual keeps us from seeing how others hurt just like we do. It's been said there are no original ideas, only unique ways of expression what has existed eternal. This gives me pause to think about who else inhabits the same writhing husk, and if the moment of transmutation returning back to the Traveler form isn't just my own personal triumph, but the triumph of all things coming together to release ancient pains.
Some uncanny dreams have come my way as of late, seeing myself as a monolith I didn't once feel I identified with but is just familiar enough that it's left a mark on my psyche. This is what I am currently calling Shared Traveler Synchronicity for now, where multiple travelers all inhabit the same monolith. It's unknown to me if this means it requires all individuals to heal in tandem as one or if some move through at differing speeds, and likely influence others within the Monolith construct to see the possibility of movement through the mire.
The reason it's so hard to say is there is no direct way, as of yet, to measure this phenomenon, and it always feels like a blur in hindsight, as the present moment always seems to take precedent over all else. But I'm certain that I've felt the lightening load on my own current monolith, as if there's been a healing elsewhere in the universe that I am unable to see with my own eyes. What this says about the Garden is also hard to determine, but it does tell me that the processes taking place in adjacent dimensions are beyond grounded, earthly comprehension.
Tread lightly within the Garden, Astral Travelers, and remember you are not alone. We may find that we are strongest when we see each other, especially those in which we share a Monolith.
- Alex aka Mr. Voidself
Sacred Communication and what that's all about...
Coming Soon(ish)...
What is the Garden?
Compendium
The Iterative Cycle
Travelers
Whole-Self
Monoliths
Shared Traveler Synchronicity (S T S)
"Sacred Communication"
